Morning Paper

Chevron Cashes In On You! $5.17 billion Record Q1 Profit

While you're going broke trying to get back and forth to work, Chevron Oil is raking in the cash, and I mean raking.  They have posted their 1st qauter profits that sing to the tune of $5.17 billion.  That's profit folks, profit.

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When it's OK to say "OH SH*T"...

Ever wonder when it's ok to say Oh Sh*t?  BestOfTheWeb some great examples...

Some of these will make you laugh, so gasp and some will truly make you say OH SH*T!

Social Networking Goes Social Security! GetBack Media Goes Live

                               

                                    

                                       

"March 1, 1972

RetroMinute

Wilt Chamberlain hits 30,000 points • John Lennon gets his work visa • Roger Daltrey turns 28 • The Carol Burnett Show is on TV."

TVLand turned Social Networking hits your Internet Browser today.  GetBack Media is launching their "Your Butt is Old" social networking site.  The site will host TV clips, guys saying phrases that aren't worth saying, and constant reminders of how old you are.

But, I actually think out of the hundreds of useless Social Networking sites out there now, this one is going to do pretty good.  It really doesn't matter how old you are, everybody likes the 60's and 70's, and a good deal of young folk prefer the long gone decades. 

The site will be targeting the 35 and up crowd, but I'm willing to bet they get hit with the 18 to 25 groups much harder than they think.   Anybody from the era's while find the site fun for about a week, mainly because everything offered is sitting right there on your desk. 

But having said that,  this is a pretty darn good idea, I think it will have legs.

Take a look

 

                               

                           

Take A Fetal Shower! The "Rotator"

What will they think of next?  I have tried for awhile now to figure this one out.  This design by Ron Arad is one of those, "Huh?", designs.   Sure it looks great, but you have to be a 7 year-old to really enjoy its features, I just don't think there are too many 7 year-olds out there that can afford this thing.

The "Rotator" goes from being a bath, yes that's right, a bath, to being a shower with a 180 degree turn.  Either this designer is really going for artistic concept, or he unconsciously really wants to crawl back in.

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Marilyn Monroe The First Pamela Anderson? Sex Film Sells For $1.5 Million

"HI THERE! WE'VE MOVED AND WE STILL HAVE THE ARTICLE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR. PLEASE CLICK HERE MORNINPAPER.COM FOR "Marilyn Monroe The First Pamela Anderson? Sex Film Sells For $1.5 Million" POST. THIS POST HAS BEEN MOVED TO NEW SITE: SEE YOU THERE, THANK YOU!"

Tough Tax Season? Get Some Relief From Naughty America "Porn"

  We're so close folks.  We are so close to the brink that it's scary. 

From the press release:  "Finally, a reason to look forward to
tax season."  Naughty America, a pron video site is offering relief for taxpayers this pay for the Iraqi war pay up period. 

Until April 15th, you can download 6 x-rated movies for free from the companies website.  It's their way of giving back.... I guess.

"Tax time can get touchy," said Naughty America spokesman Jarin Udom.
"And we figure the free scenes will make things even a bit more touchy --
but in a good way."

And teachers in this country make on average $35,000 a year. 

Funny thing is, this site will probably crash at some point today.  Not sad for the company, but more toward my prior statement.

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Gas tips to help you save a couple of bucks...every bit counts!!

Remember the good old days when gas was two dollars a gallon...oh I believe in yesterdays. With the oil companies charting record profits and no forseeable end in sight in gas increases, we must share whatever tips we can on saving money at the pump. And, I don't want to hear any blah blah about alternative fuel sources because WE ALL KNOW THAT ALREADY, but it is not as though some switch can be flipped to make the change, it will take time, research, and enough sabotage to make it work. What's interesting about the whole world wide gas increase is that it doesn't matter if you are Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic, Scientologist, or Terrorist, we are all getting screwed! The following link should provide some common sense tips to help all of us, please utilize them. Read

There's No Santa And New Zealand Kids Can't Have Birthday Cake

  Normally we look at stories that come out of countries like New Zealand and sigh "Why can't we be more like that?"  Not this time.

This one brings the long screech to that bit of progressive dreaming. 

Fat haters of New Zealand all sit on the same board, the Ministry of Education.  The new government guidelines on health prohibit kids from bringing Birthday Cake to school to celebrate with their school chums.   Prompting the ban on the phrase "let them eat Cake".

I get the whole kids need to eat healthy and there are far to many over weight children today.  But this is going a bit over board.  Let them eat cake!  It's their friggin birthday for crying out loud.

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TENNIS PLAYER BEATS HIMSELF WITH HIS OWN RACKET!

http://view.break.com/480623 - Watch more free videos

I heard of tennis players getting pissed off and yelling and crap like John McEnroe did, but John never went to the extent that this guy did, he is just a complete idiot!

Has The World Gone Mad!! Mariah Carey Passes Elvis?

  I put this one under the category "Music" with much reservation, really, it pains me to no end.  But something rather dastardly has happened to the history of Rock & Roll.

  Someone who's contribution will not be remembered for anything significant 20 years from now has passed an icon with most chart topping hits.  Yes, that's right, I said it, I went there.

  For me, this means I officially do not understand anything anymore. 

"I really can never put myself in the category of people who have not only revolutionized music but also changed the world," Carey told The Associated Press on Tuesday via phone from London. "That's a completely different era and time ... I'm just feeling really happy and grateful."

This means she has even more "Chart Topping" hits than Micheal Jackson, who love him or hate him personally, has a catalog that most of which can be cited by anyone in any age group. 

But I will give her props on making that statement.  But what's up with this people?  Do you really like this inane meaningless pop garbage this much?  So much so that you're about to let Mariah Carey over take the Beatles?

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