Morning Paper

Throw Baby From The Roof

This video is basically unbearable, but by all means, go watch it.

CNN

Social Networking Goes Social Security! GetBack Media Goes Live

                               

                                    

                                       

"March 1, 1972

RetroMinute

Wilt Chamberlain hits 30,000 points • John Lennon gets his work visa • Roger Daltrey turns 28 • The Carol Burnett Show is on TV."

TVLand turned Social Networking hits your Internet Browser today.  GetBack Media is launching their "Your Butt is Old" social networking site.  The site will host TV clips, guys saying phrases that aren't worth saying, and constant reminders of how old you are.

But, I actually think out of the hundreds of useless Social Networking sites out there now, this one is going to do pretty good.  It really doesn't matter how old you are, everybody likes the 60's and 70's, and a good deal of young folk prefer the long gone decades. 

The site will be targeting the 35 and up crowd, but I'm willing to bet they get hit with the 18 to 25 groups much harder than they think.   Anybody from the era's while find the site fun for about a week, mainly because everything offered is sitting right there on your desk. 

But having said that,  this is a pretty darn good idea, I think it will have legs.

Take a look

 

                               

                           

Marilyn Monroe The First Pamela Anderson? Sex Film Sells For $1.5 Million

"HI THERE! WE'VE MOVED AND WE STILL HAVE THE ARTICLE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR. PLEASE CLICK HERE MORNINPAPER.COM FOR "Marilyn Monroe The First Pamela Anderson? Sex Film Sells For $1.5 Million" POST. THIS POST HAS BEEN MOVED TO NEW SITE: SEE YOU THERE, THANK YOU!"

The Male Gigolo Is Japan's New Big Ticket Item

  Ladies and gentlemen, I have found the job I want.  It has taken years to do, but I am now ready to settle down into one solid career..... and work very, very hard at it.

First I have to move to Japan where the trend that's sweeping the land is the male Geisha, sans the pounds of make-up and Christmas wrapping dresses.

Right now, as you read this, some Japanese guy is collecting $1,000 to $50,000 just to be a companion to a Japanese business woman.  What's required?  Not what you'd think.

The men are hired to sit, drink and give companionship to the women.  Talk, that's it, talk.  Compliments, asking about their day, full and undivided attention, that's it. 

Japan is a pretty chauvinistic society, but women are really beginning to take on high powered business positions which seemingly, are leaving them out in the cold.  So what better way to spend all that yen she's making than to pay a male to tell her how amazing she is for a few hours. 

And to think, I've been doing that for free. 

Well, I'm off to get a haircut, new suit and a ticket to Japan!

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Sprint Gets Visual VoiceMail, But.....

  File this one under "annoying".   Klausner Technologies, the folks suing AT&T and Apple for the Visual Voicemail feature on the iPhone, have teamed up with Sprint to bring you "Visual Voicemail!"

Yep, at long last, the company, the only one out of the four major carriers, that makes it a complete and utter nightmare to try and use a third party voicemail service, has now joined the 21st century.   Sprint is now taking away some of the pain associated with trying to get a visual voicemail going on your phone.

  But wait, what's this?  It's only for the "Samsung Instinct?"  This is a joke right?

Sprints wannabe iPhone will fet VisualVoicemail just like the iPhone.  For the rest of you on Sprint that want this feature, good luck and pack a lunch.  You're going to be on with CS for a good part of the day.

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Has The World Gone Mad!! Mariah Carey Passes Elvis?

  I put this one under the category "Music" with much reservation, really, it pains me to no end.  But something rather dastardly has happened to the history of Rock & Roll.

  Someone who's contribution will not be remembered for anything significant 20 years from now has passed an icon with most chart topping hits.  Yes, that's right, I said it, I went there.

  For me, this means I officially do not understand anything anymore. 

"I really can never put myself in the category of people who have not only revolutionized music but also changed the world," Carey told The Associated Press on Tuesday via phone from London. "That's a completely different era and time ... I'm just feeling really happy and grateful."

This means she has even more "Chart Topping" hits than Micheal Jackson, who love him or hate him personally, has a catalog that most of which can be cited by anyone in any age group. 

But I will give her props on making that statement.  But what's up with this people?  Do you really like this inane meaningless pop garbage this much?  So much so that you're about to let Mariah Carey over take the Beatles?

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Hi I'm Doctor Smith, I'm Thirty Days Sobber and I'll Be Performing Your Surgery

  I'm always surprised that people are still surprised when I tell them that the number one killer in America is the Hospital.  A recent study shed some light on a small part of the problem by discovering that roughly 8K doctors are practicing medicine while while receiving treatment for addictions.

Becky Anderson learned this the hard way.  She went under the knife for breast reconstruction, and because of the knife she went under, she had to pass on her cancer treatments.  Now she is dying.  The doctor with the knife was arrested while on the way to treat her for his second DUI.  The twice convicted doctor was being treated for alcoholism. 

Really brings the saying "physician heal thy self" home doesn't it?

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Study Finds 81% of Teens Are Happy!

     WHAT? 

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Chrysler Wants You Dead! In-Car Internet Coming To Your 300

(Disclaimer): Chrysler doesn't actually want you dead, leave me alone Chrysler legal.

  Have you ever been on the freeway and thought to yourself, oh man, some internet porn would be perfect right now.  Or sitting in stand still traffic and wished to the stars above that you could log on and check new postings on Morning Paper? 

Well low and behold, in a year where most states are trying to fill their coffers with violation funding from driving while using a cell phone, Chrysler is hard at work putting the internet in their dashboards. 

This WiFi service will of course come with a monthly charge and use cell towers to bring you "Big Butt Girls" while you cross that aging bridge. 

Beginning this year (they're wasting no time) Chrysler will begin putting the internet in existing cars, and will be added to the assembly line for all future models.

Of course you know this is a vicious cycle designed to get as much money as possible out of your wallet.  First the service will cost you extra to install.  But it's cool, you'll do it.  Then it will cost you a monthly fee.  But it's so handy when trying to find the perfect piece of pie close to you, so you'll pay.  Then the government will call for a study on how many accidents are caused by this, which we the taxpayer will pay for.  Finally ending with a traffic violation from new laws banning surfing while driving. 

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StingRay Kills Woman, But It's How It Happened That's The Nightmare

  So you're laying on a swanky boat in the middle of the Florida keys.  Just laying there catching some sun, relaxing on your vacation when suddenly , without warning, a Stingray leaps out of the water and lands on you.

If  that's not enough, it kills you.    Just look at this photo, imagine that flying out of the water and leaping on you.

This is what happened to a 55-year-old Michigan woman.  It is not clear yet if the woman died from a blow to her head after falling back trying to flee the StingRay, or if she died from the barb piercing her.  Which ever the case, this has to be one of the top most horrific ways one can spend the last few seconds of life. 

The incident is being characterized as an "accident".   

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